Caplan, Birnbaum, Halmi, Rosenberg Family Tree

Peacefully surrounded by her loved ones on Wednesday, June 1, 2016. She will always be in our hearts but sadly missed by all. Daughter of the late Harris and the late Rebecca Caplan (Chawkin). Wife of the late Bernard Isenberg (FCA). Beloved mother and mother-in-law of Warren and Harriet Greenstone, Jeffrey and Rhonda Isenberg, Fred and Benita Golt. Very special and proud Bubby of Mara and Jason Agulnik, Randy and Joshua Rose, Meryl, Hilary and Shawn Greenstone, Jordan and Gregory Isenberg, Rebecca and Ira Shiner, Matthew and Ryan Golt. Treasured and loved Alta Bubby of Evan and Sophie Agulnik and Bryn Rose. Sister and sister-in-law of the late Myer and the late Sylvia Caplan, the late Sarah and the late Bill Baker, the late Howard and the late Leonie Caplan, the late Lew and Doris Caplan, the late Sylvia and the late Harry Rosen, the late Diane and the late David Tessler, Machlah and the late Melvin Zwaig. Special aunt, great-aunt and friend to many. Funeral service from Paperman & Sons, 3888 Jean Talon W on Thursday, June 2 at 3 p.m. Burial at De la Savane. Shiva information at Paperman.com. - See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/montrealgazette/obituary.aspx?pid=180193743#sthash.AlYMRLvF.dpuf

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/montrealgazette/obituary.aspx?pid=180193743

On behalf of the family, thank you all for coming this afternoon and for the beautiful words we’ve been reading and hearing via emails and calls.
Before I read the words of our family, I would like to share with you a letter I received this morning from her long time dear friend Sheila Kussner. Sheila so eloquently expressed the words and sentiments that we have been receiving over the last hours from so many dear and special people. People talking about nice times and memories and about her strength, vision and being so ahead of her times.
{READ SHEILA's LETTER}

Frances Lillian Caplan Isenberg, affectionately called, Fruma Leah, aunty Fran, Mrs I., and the empress of china, but most important to her, she was mommy, Bubby & Alta Bubby. Her children, their spouses, who were children as well, her grandchildren and great grandchildren were her life. She truly kvelled at all the weddings, births, namings and briths, bat and bar mitzvahs, sweet 16’s and graduations. The pride she felt and showed was incredible.
I have been given the honour of reading these words, lovingly, but painfully put together by her children, who took part in sharing stories of a woman who was like no other. She was the matriarch of our family, and a woman of strength and character. Very tough on the outside in the business world, but everybody who knew Frances loved and respected her. Everyone who really knew Frances knew how soft and warm she was inside.
Writing this eulogy was so hard for so many reasons. First it meant admitting that our mother Frances has gone, and that we have to say good-bye. But what’s also so hard is that whatever speeches, letters, and even eulogies that we wrote on our own, or together, we always read them to mom to get her seal of approval, or to benefit from her input. How we wanted to pick up the phone and ask her what she wants, and what she thinks of these words we’ve written.
We really had difficulty thinking of how to talk about the mother we just lost, do we talk about the strong invincible, brilliant Frances, the empress of china or our mother of the last few years who was still brilliant and definitely special just in a different way. It saddened us to see her slowly slipping away, but we treasured every special moment, just looking at her face, seeing the love in her eyes and the smile when we entered her room, even when she didn’t remember our names, she’d still say things like you look tired, when we really were, she would take our hands in hers and sometimes even say “I love you more” the phrase that is so her, and that every grandchild on their own, wanted to talk about. We chose to talk about it all- how lucky to have had her in our lives, how sad that we lost her twice.
Our mom faced challenges from an early age. At only seven years old she grew up fast, after she lost her father and grandmother in the same year. She quickly started working at the hardware store after school each day with her mother. Her siblings whom she loved and adored all shared in caring for her. She had a very special relationship with each of her siblings, their spouses and her many very special nieces and nephews.
In no time it was she, that was taking care of everyone. Her children recall how the home that she raised them in was “family central.” They never knew when they got home who would be sleeping in their beds, or sitting around the kitchen table. We all remember that kitchen table filled with deli, imported home baked goods and much love and laughter.
Her second home, the store, was also open to all family and friends. Any family or friend who wanted to work in the store would have a job and for as long as they wanted. How many hundreds of people will stop us, and say, their first job, the place they learned good work ethics and how to work hard was at Caplans. Whether now a Doctor, lawyer, accountant or business person they always started with “did you know my first job was… and then told their stories.” Their words were always filled with pride and respect.
So many friends and family called her when they needed something, or even just to talk whatever the time of the day or night. Each one had their favorite time slot, be it 5:30 in the morning or 11:00pm. She and dad would always know what to say or do. Whether being there for a single family member or taking on bigger challenges, she was always ready. Everyone else was more important to her than she was to herself.
Mom and dad had a special relationship. So many times we would hear “Bernie” and her knight of shining armor would come running. Whatever he wanted, she wanted for him and whatever she wanted, he moved mountains to give her. She wanted a swimming pool but he couldn’t swim, so he built her a beautiful swimming pool that he chose to a call a big bathtub. How they would splash and laugh together with all their family and friends. Then she wanted a boat, so he and Fred went to buy her a boat, at first dad watched from the balcony, but eventually he got the courage to go on and enjoyed being with the family because he knew that was so important to both of them.
When she moved from their condo, she carried his picture with her in the car and put it on the wall before any of the furniture arrived. She believed that he was watching over her and he needed to know where she was moving. She kept saying she wanted to be with him, we truly hope that they will now be together again. They are for sure together in our hearts and our minds. Mom loved and honored dad and no matter how successful she became he was always the man behind the woman. She was proud to be referred to as Mrs. I and she corrected people when they called him Mr. Caplan. Believe it or not, someone stopped me in a coffee shop last week and asked me if I am Mr. Caplan.
She was so giving, for example in the early days of the Quebec lottery she won $250.00, remember this was in the early 70’s and quite a bit of money. She bought lunch for all the staff at both the Decarie and Cote des neiges stores. Bought each child at least one toy, and then called Bubby Rae, her mother-in-law, to make a nice donation to her charity of her choice. That night as she was lying in bed she turned to her Bernie, and asked how much did I win? She realized that she had given away well over a $1000.00. That was our mother.
When she realized she was celebrating her 50th birthday, and felt that she had all that she needed she decided that she and her friends would celebrate this milestone in each of their lives by giving money to hope and cope. She started the group chaverot hope and cope. In the style of Frances the group grew and grew, gave and gave. I distinctly remember Frances subcontracting the first fashion show ad book to myself and Bernie. In her own special way, she challenged us to make sure that even the first attempt would be a huge success.
Mom worked hard very hard, in anything and everything she did, and expected the same from all of us. Sleeping she said was a waste of time. So much could be done in a day, and there were no such words as I can’t.
When we were told last night just after she passed that we would not get her obituary in the Gazette on time, we said just watch, there is no such words as we can’t . And in her memory, we said hold the presses, and made it happen.
She was always there for us- a working mother when it was unheard of, she still came to school events, made or arranged for costumes, chauffeured us, spoiled us and parented us well. She instilled good values and good work ethics, she showed us how to care for others, whether it was visiting people in the hospital or giving money, never say no to charity.
Although a young bubby, she kept Yiddish alive in our homes, chattering with her children and grandchildren with Yiddish phrases and songs. And then there were her favorite English ones. As uncle harry said “rich or poor it’s good to have money” and her mother always said “don’t kiss under the shtuppy.” When we asked her about her superstitions and why we needed to follow them, she told us, because her mother said so, and you never question a mother.
Her great grandchildren knew her as alta bubby and she would perk up, smile and get all excited when they called her that. She still would call out to us “are you watching them” and “why are they crying, go to them” as she did with her grandchildren.
When the doctor called to say, we should get to the hospital, he said it was grim but then he said he knows our mom and she’s a fighter. And she did fight until she looked at us and said “let me go.” She was telling us what we needed to do, as she always had, and so we sat around her, told her how much we love her, what an amazing mother and bubby and alta bubby she is, kissed her and stroked her head as she used to stroke ours, and let her go.
Although she is gone, a part of her lives on, we see her when our children stroke the heads of their children just as she did for all of us, those healing hands that held ours even in her last minutes. We hear her in our own voices and gestures.
Frances Lilian Caplan Isenberg truly made her mark on this world, she will be sadly missed, always in our hearts, minds, souls and always a part of us.
May you rest in peace. El Mekomah tavoh beshalom